Tell me what you think about this: a film set in 1988, shot in 2007 and released in 2011? If that sounds a little wacky to you, no worries you’re not the only one. Though, saying Take Me Home Tonight is an awful movie is a bit inadequate, regardless of the film being staler than movie popcorn on a Wednesday afternoon. It has charming moments from time to time, but there is not a second that goes by that you don’t know why this film was held back. The plot tries to achieve that joyous and wildly fun nostalgia of the 1980’s but lacks any originality and unlike last year’s rowdy comedy Hot Tub Time Machine (set in 1986), which actually worked, Michael Dowse’s film feels tiresome and exceedingly dull.

Topher Grace is a rather likable actor, but I think he’s watched Risky Business and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off one too many times. He tries to pull off the loser guy that just wants to have a night of fun, but it’s rather unconvincing. Grace plays Matt Franklin, a confused, and scared college grad (from MIT) who came back home after he was finished only to work at Sun Coast Video. However as summer ends and fall begins to set in, Matthew realizes he’s still clueless on the subject of his future. Oddly enough, the picture is a contradiction in itself. You continuously hear many of the characters preaching about living in the moment, just enjoying where you are and who you are at that time, and not worrying about the future. I suppose a point could be made that Matt is too future oriented, still the film lacks any real conviction, one way or the other.

So, the film transcends into Matthew pursuing Torri (Teresa Palmer), his dream girl from high school, after they bump into each other. That ultimately brings us to multiple erratic Labor Day weekend parties that results in more than one misdemeanor. The night goes on, strange events occur, flirtation between Matt and Torri is evident, and some ridiculous antics from Matt’s best friend Barry (Dan Fogler) fill up the screen. All of this amounts to practically nothing. The relationship between Matt and Torri was doomed from the start due to the countless lies he’s told her (he was working at Goldman Sachs and that he doesn’t live with his parents). This mediocre plot could be passable if the characters were interesting enough for us care about: sadly they’re not.

We know that Matt and Torri will ultimately end up together, despite the multiple contrivances between them. But in all honesty, who cares? No real emotions are spread throughout the picture; no reasonable dialect is exchanged and not even one relationship rings true to anything that happens in people’s day to day life.

Everything should be put in perspective, so I’ll try my best to do so with this picture. If you want to watch a film that recycles every 80’s cliché known to man and may just give you a tiny (and I mean tiny) amount of happy memories from the 80’s I suppose the movie is ok. The performers are enjoyable to watch, no matter how lame the screenplay is and at least the film takes a heartwarming, undertone of sentimentality. But as I’ve said before: just because a movie is on the right side of an issue or emotion, doesn’t mean the film is worth watching.

What I do after every picture (and I’m sure many of you do this) is sit down, think about what I just witnessed, recollect and figure out what this movies amounts to and what it means to me. Take Me Home Tonight doesn’t mean or amount to very much, that’s never more evident than in its climatic scene in which Matt gets over his fears and goes in front of the whole party and gives a whimsical speech about being intimidated and confused by the future. Though, if you search deep down, there may be a small amount of poignancy. Lessons on future prosperity and priorities are handled with care, which is rather refreshing. Still, there’s no way around it: the script is filled with far too many clichés, the plot is overly sporadic and ultimately the film results in a mediocre and underwhelming effort from director Michael Dowse.

I’m probably just adding fuel to the fire here, but I’m almost positive I saw an iPhone in one of the characters hands. I’m just sayin’….

C

(**/****)

Notes: Rated R for language, sexual content and drug use, 114 minutes.