Lying somewhere between the pop-culture-referencing of the Shrek franchise and the incessant bodily function jokes of the Alvin and the Chipmunks franchise, Illumination Entertainment’s second theatrical outing, Hop, falters in its severe lack of humor altogether.  Where last year’s Despicable Me effectively utilized the humor of its stars and writing team, the studio’s follow-up relies on pandering to what they assume young people want and references that were already dated when the script was written.  The story follows the reluctant Easter Bunny’s son (voiced by Russell Brand), known simply as “E.B.,” as he attempts to avoid the duties of his lineage in favor of becoming a rock star in Hollywood.  But after a strangely staged car accident, E.B. meets Fred (James Marsden), an out-of-work parental disappointment, who hesitantly takes E.B. on as a wisecracking buddy.

It’s a sad phenomenon in many children’s films of late that doing away with sensible story to make more room for bathroom humor and slapstick hijinks is the way to go.  Where Pixar still utilizes the effective “magic” venue of family movies, in which the characters take literal or figurative journeys in a timeless, virtually expiration-dated-reference-free manner, other studios insist upon throwing in years-old rock songs and has-been television stars in order to somehow feel relevant and hilarious.  In Hop, the latter method is used to a wholly ineffectual extent.

Take the painfully obvious soundtrack choices, for one.  Christopher Lennertz’s score is perfectly fine for a kid flick.  The sequence at the beginning of the movie in which we’re introduced to the Easter Bunny’s candy factory is rather grandiose and brilliantly animated.  Accompanied by Lennertz’s traditional score, it’s easily the best scene in the movie.  Unfortunately, Hop dips into what the majority of these animation/live-action hybrids do – a series of obvious and stale choices of pop songs to “liven up” the duration.  In one scene, E.B. expresses his rock creativity by banging out Good Charlotte’s “The Anthem” on his trapset.  For some reason, the nearly decade-old song is to be taken as fresh and edgy (and apparently no other homage-worthy songs have been released since), but even the KidzBop version is old news.  And speaking of “fresh” material, not even the three-year-olds in the audience could avoid predicting that the overused “I Want Candy” would show up in some pivotal moment of the movie.  It has to be one of the most trotted-out songs in bad movie history.

The biggest problem with Hop, though, is its script decisions.  Poor Marsden, a talented actor in his own right, is left to make goofy faces to the camera and emote a complete lack of personality other than Shemp from The Three Stooges.  And Brand, who always boasts such a vast comedic repertoire, can’t even buy a decent joke in this movie.  And don’t get me started on the uber-talented sideline players that are relegated to scenes and dialogue smaller than even David Hasselhoff’s (Elizabeth Perkins and Gary Cole, to name a couple).  Speaking of Hasselhoff, he virtually represents the problem in Hop.  When E.B. is desperate enough to become a famous musician, Fred suggests auditioning for a fictional (thank god) show called Hoff Knows Talent.  In a horrifically cliched couple of scenes, Hasselhoff is treated like a deity among men and given screaming fans and credibility.  How does someone who headlined a semi-popular series in the ’90s merit this kind of treatment in a 2011 movie for children?

All in all, Hop assumes its audience members are idiots who could care less about convincing story-lines.  From its bizarre spilling-the-beans introduction, in which the surprise ending is revealed in the first 30 seconds, to the overly lame “final showdown” – are we really to believe that our dastardly villain can be taken down that easily and that incoherently? – Hop is suitable for likely no age groups.  I hazard a guess that even pre-schoolers will notice the gaping plot holes throughout.  And for a cast and crew with this much talent and a potentially thrilling story idea, it’s a dirty shame.

D

Notes: Rated PG for some mild rude humor.

Check out more of my film commentary and reviews at Journalistic Skepticism.