Something Borrowed is one of the most contrived, unfunny, and unrealistic endeavors to be produced in quite some time. Here’s a film that doesn’t offer a lick of genuine sentiment, or for that matter a believable relationship. But in 2011 that’s nothing new. So what makes Luke Greenfield’s newest effort so despicable? Perhaps it’s the disingenuous monologues about “love” and “speaking your mind” sporadically placed throughout the film. Or the sappy score by Alex Wuman. Or the climatic sequence that may-as-well have been a re-run of a Jerry Springer show. Or perhaps it’s the dialogue that treats the audience as if they have the brain capacity of a third grader. My answer: All of the above.
In a laconic sense the plot of Something Borrowed follows New York City lawyer Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) as best friend Darcy (Kate Hudson) is about to get married to Dex (Colin Egglesfield) within two months. Problem is Rachel is still in love with Dex from when they first met during law school, and after the two share a passionate kiss on Rachel’s 30th birthday, pandemonium is unleashed. Add into the mix an understanding friend named Ethan (John Krasinski), about a half dozen scenes that make you cringe, and there you have it: a dull, uninspired, and disgraceful entry into the declining rom-com genre.
Now that I’ve described the film in a nutshell, imagine jokes centered on false sexual relationships and broken noses and screenwriting that makes The Notebook look as original as High Fidelity. Mix in a love triangle that’s about as convincing as the Twilight series and when the final credits start rolling, picture a longing sadness inside of you. Yes, it’s that depressing.
Greenfield’s picture wouldn’t be so intolerable if any of the characters had just sat down and decided to have an honest conversation with one another. Sadly, it seems these people aren’t smart enough to do so? Last time I checked you don’t become a lawyer based on your looks. Then again, that notion only applies to the real world and Something Borrowed certainly has no connection whatsoever with it.
As if the self-absorbing characters weren’t enough for screenwriter Jennie Snyder, the script follows every Hollywood romantic-comedy convention known to mankind. The sadistic score that is meant to dictates ones mood while watching, a character crying in the rain, realizing they’ve made a mistake and confrontations that end in dialogue like “Why didn’t you kiss me?”
In the end, Something Borrowed boils down to one of the most unpleasant cinematic experiences I have endured this year. It’s grating, lazy, and underdeveloped to a pulp. Despite a couple of solid performances from Goodwin and Krasinski (and maybe one laugh), there’s nothing that can save this sinking boat. I don’t even feel bad for the talent involved here — they earned a paycheck for their work -– and we, the audience, are out ten dollars and 103 minutes of our lives we will never get back.
Something Borrowed is something dismal. Case closed.
Notes: Rated PG-13 for sexual content including dialogue, and some drug material.
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