‘Abduction’ Review: This Film Should Be Kidnapped From Public Consumption
Two decades ago John Singleton wrote and directed the Oscar nominated Boys N the Hood, and a mere six years after his last feature was released, he has returned with what can only described as a terribly generic action thriller. Abduction brings together deplorable acting, a terrible script and an unoriginal idea which is executed poorly. Viewing this film is the cinematic equivalent of watching a car crash in slow-motion, the audience observes the disaster and devastation unfold on-screen, but the only way for them to avoid this horrifying event is to simply vacate their theater seat and approach the box office for a welcome refund on the admission price of their ticket.
Nathan Harper (Taylor Lautner) is your typical teenage boy, but when he is paired with his long-time crush Karen (Lily Collins) on a sociology project, his life begins to unravel as they find his picture on a missing children’s website. Nathan and Karen are left to fend for themselves as they find themselves in the cross-hairs of a major Eastern European criminal, whilst they must also decide whether or not to trust the CIA operative Frank Burton (Alfred Molina) who insists that he is there to help the young couple. What follows is an hour and a half of action sequences involving a teenage boy who not only manages to outsmart many experienced villains, but also the Central Intelligence Agency.
Generic, conventional, and unoriginal. Just a few words one could use to describe the narrative of Abduction, it’s incredibly surprising that Shawn Christensen’s script was sold to Lionsgate for an estimated one million dollars due to its preposterous and unintentionally hilarious nature. One particularly terrible scene takes place just after Nathan’s ‘parents’ (Jason Isaacs, Maria Bello) have been murdered, as an injured henchman tells the young couple; “I’m not going to die here… there’s a bomb in the oven.” Seconds later, they reach the oven which contains the stereotypical bomb with visible timer before the house is blown into smithereens. While this is just one of many examples, let’s give Mr. Christensen his dues, it is not always his script that sends the film into an infinite hallway of absurdity. Lautner’s performance also readily helps this aspect along.
The young Twilight star has so far unfortunately only developed two facial expressions, one which displays his tight-lipped macho bravado and the other his wide-eyed smile that has made thousands of Twi-hards swoon. This is most evident in the scene briefly after they have avoided the bomb in the oven as CIA operative Frank Burton contacts the young man. Asking how he is feeling after he has just watched his parents being murdered, his face remains expressionless as he nonchalantly mentions that he is ok. Facial expressions, emotions and acting in general seem to have been excluded from Singleton’s reasoning during the direction of this film, because even the experienced Alfred Molina, Maria Bello, and Sigourney Weaver are shown to be seemingly phoning-in their performances as they no doubt realized the kind of production they had unfortunately become a part of.
Abduction should be a film which is written about and praised alongside the likes of Airplane! and Young Frankenstein, because it is the perfect spoof of the action-thriller genre, encompassing every single cliché together with a laughable script and incredibly dubious acting. Yet the sad thing is the fact that this film is not a parody but is instead an entirely serious motion picture. John Singleton’s latest offering does leave the audience pondering one of life’s most difficult questions however: why was this film commissioned for theatrical distribution?
D-
(2/10)
14 Comments
Nice review, I don’t think I could sit through this film, you’re a brave man sir.
When I first saw the trailer of this film, I thought for sure it was a comedy but then I realized it’s supposed to be a straight action flick. I still couldn’t stop laughing though. It’s amazing see Singleton’s career fell so fast that he’s making this kind of film now.
That is a great review. James Beradinelli was right about another thing concerning Taylor Lautner. When it comes to action films, the target audience for that film is guys. Guys don’t like Taylor Lautner and there’s not a lot of women or girls that sees action movies nor are there enough to be interested in those films.
Ahahaha, great title, man, even that alone makes me laugh and that pic of Lautner looking all serious had me in stitches. Seriously, Lautner really shouldn’t be allowed to act… I mean, he’d probably pass as an ‘actor’ in an Abercrombie commercial but that’s already pushing it!!
Thinking about it, he doesn’t really ‘act’ at all in this film, considering to change his expression all he does is open and close his mouth in an exaggerated fashion. And I’m glad you found the picture funny, if you want a good laugh I’d suggest actually *gulp* watching the film, as that is Lautner’s expression for a good fifty minutes!
THANKFULLY it opened against Moneyball. If it were the only big release, I’d have had to go see it.
Might I ask? Towards the end there, you seem to imply it might be laughable… is there any chance this is a so bad its good movie? You know? An unintentional comedy?
There would be, but it takes itself so seriously that it just evokes a feeling of pity. However, I imagine that many college drinking games will be based around this film once it is released on home media (for example, take a shot of alcohol everytime Lautner shows his abs…and that’s the only rule you’ll need to be honest!).
That’s ok man, I don’t feel the need to torture myself, ahah.
LOL. Ok.
Wow! That bad? I was expecting something of that sort seeing that it has a rating of … 5 percent?!?!?! Dang….
Hahaha fun review!!! I don’t want to see it even before you reviewed it as bad movie
Nice review – I saw the trailer to this and figured it wouldn’t be half bad, but the stream of reviews I’ve been reading indicate how wrong I was!
I’m a little saddened by this. I never like to see a young actor fail, particularly in their first time out after a franchise. Luckily, there’s another year before the final twilight, so maybe there’s still time for him to get a part that works for him.
The road to success is usually littered with failures. His looks and “serious smoulder” won’t be carrying him all the way so I hope he realizes that he has work to do.
We saw the trailer for this one when I watched Captain America this summer. Everyone in the theater started laughing. I have no idea (but really I do) why Maria Bello, Jason Isaacs and Sigourney Weaver attached themselves to this project.
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