With Mother’s Day come and gone, there were a world of lists going around cyberspace, naming the best movie moms and the worst movie moms. I have decided to go another way. Combining both the good and the bad, and in some cases, the very very bad, I have compiled a list of those moms you do not want to cross. Whether they are a mother who has maniacal control over their children or a mom who will kill in order to save her child, or whether they are a mother with real anger issues (I prefer plastic hangers myself, but c’mon) or a make-shift mom who will face off with the biggest mother of them all in an epic spaceborn battle, these are certainly some moms you do not want to piss off. The good ones and the not-so-good ones alike.
To mention a few obligatory runners-up before we get things started, some of these mothers include, but are not limited to the evil-ass Marietta Fortune from David Lynch’s unsung near-masterpiece Wild at Heart, the manipulating incestuous Lilly Dillon in Grifters, the super mom Helen Parr protecting her equally super kids in The Incredibles, the ever-irascible Mrs. Gump, mother dearest to her doofus son Forrest, and of course the woman who makes you exclaim Throw Momma From the Train! And now, without further ado, I give you the ten movie moms you do not want to cross.
Since Norma really wasn’t herself that day, I will include her here as a very special mention, instead of on the list proper, because the old broad definitely needs to be given some kind of recognition here – for after all, a boy’s best friend is his mother – and this particular best friend is a doozy to please.
As brilliantly portrayed by Angela Lansbury in the original 1962 classic Frankenheimer film, what we have here is one gigantic, manipulative bitch of a mother, who is not above the mental manipulation of her own son in order to fulfill her misguided wicked goals.
Poor Mrs. Vorhees was just trying to avenge her son. She wasn’t that bad, right? Okay, she was completely stark-raving batshitcrazy, and no one should be surprised at what her son grew up to become, but does that mean she should not get a mother’s day card?
Her son, a bit slow on the uptake, is charged with a brutal murder which he may or may not have committed. The police seem to be quite ineffectual in getting to the truth of the case. So what does this mother of a mother do? She stops at nothing to find, and punish those she believes may be behind this heinous crime.
She wants that baby! And she will not stop until she has that baby. In this early film by the Coen Brothers, Holly Hunter’s would-be mommy browbeats her ex-con of a hubby, Nicholas Cage, into kidnapping a baby from a local millionaire. Hilarity ensues. And when someone threatens that baby, look the hell out.
The one mother on the list that is actually a real person, the iconic Miss Crawford does not get the most rewarding of portrayals here, even if Faye Dunaway does a spectacular job at portraying the actress. But in her defense, Christina was told no wire hangers, so who is really at fault here.
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