I’ll be honest, I disliked Robert Rodriguez’s 2010 Machete a great deal. For a movie that starred a machete-wielding Danny Trejo attempting to exact revenge on Robert DeNiro as a Texas senator and Steven Segal as some dude who weighs a lot and features Cheech Marin as a Padre and Lindsay Lohan as a Nun and Jessica Alba giving arguably the worst speech in history, well, it should have been one of those movies that, as they say, is so bad it’s good. Instead it’s so bad it’s really boring. I had no intention whatsoever of seeing its follow-up, Machete Kills (scheduled for a 2013 release).
At least I had no intention of seeing it until this morning when one Lady Gaga took to the Twitter to declare: “Yes its true, I will be making my debut as an actress ln the amazing MACHETE KILLS… IM SO EXCITED!!! AH! Filming was insane.”
Ms. Gaga is featured in a poster for the film billed as a character called “La Chameleon” with a patented Gaga-esque wig, a smoking gun in her finely primped right hand and what appears to be a dead wolf covering up her delicate what-have-yas. Just who is this “La Chameleon” and what she is up to? Uh, I think you’re missing the point, people. The point being this: LADY GAGA IS GOING TO BE IN A MOVIE!!!
Speaking in my capacity as an official Little Monster please allow me a moment to quote The Pointer Sisters: “I’m so excited! And I just can’t hide it! I’m about to lose control and I think I like it!”
See you at the movies, my Lady.
ARE YOU AS EXCITED ABOUT THIS AS ME?! IT’S OK IF YOU’RE NOT. HONEST. JUST DON’T TEAR ME COMPLETELY DOWN FROM MY HAPPY PLACE. THANKS.